Saturday, 30 May 2015

Come Tickle A Trout

Once again I'm joining in with Elephant's Child
and entering a poem containing certain random words (the ones underlined)

It's lovely how some words immediately conjure up pictures in your mind's eye and you have the scene in front of you but then trying to work those words to form pictures for others is so difficult to do well.  

I welcome any feedback and suggestions on how to improve this poem.

Come Tickle a Trout 

Come tickle a trout my father said
So we set off ‘cross the fields to the river
Under a cloudless sky
And the sound of the water as it came round the point
Tickled my ears as I grasped his hand
Through the ripening corn

Come tickle a trout my father said
So we knelt by the side of the river
Under the dappled trees
And a kingfisher with psychedelic blues
Tickled my eyes as I watched it speed
Over the rippling water

Come tickle a trout my father said
With his fingers submerged in the river
Under the brown trout’s belly
And he stroked so gently that it never knew
Tickled my nose with the drops that fell
As it rose out of the water

Dispatching it quickly
Being true to type allowing me to try the next one
But my childlike fingers were not as illustrious as his
Many slipped away to swim another day
Each time his shrug meant no problem, no regrets
And so I remained trying my best until a fish landed
And my heart sang
We carried them home and cooked them above the flames
And sucked the flavour of the river and success from their bones.


  1. That's lovely. I liked the way the word 'tickled' was repeated through the poem. I didn't catch it at first and had to go back to check. And also great use of psychedelic with the image of the kingfisher. :-)

    Looking forward to seeing more of your poems in the future.

    1. Thank you, Click for leaving a comment. This poem didn't go exactly as I wanted because of trying to incorporate the various "special" words in it but it has been fun exercising my brain in this way and it's lovely to know the phrases and devices that resonate with others :)